Missing you
by moonlit-sanata
Summary: This is a story of love, loss, hope and dreams. It is a week after Sin was destroyed and Yuna is devastated. Will she ever get to see Tidus again? or will she crumble apart within each day? This is a story of how yuna feels, including her deepest thoughts
1. Chapter 1

Where are you?...

I walk to the edge of the dock, staring out into the endless mass of water. It reminds me of you, just a week ago.. sin was destroyed along with you. Just a week ago, i watched you disappear right before my eyes. You dont know how much that hurt me because that moment when you went away, you had taken away my heart, my love, my soul.

The wind blows against my skin, i feel it tingle upon me. It caresses me as if trying to make me feel better, but it cant. My hair blows every which way, pressing the beaded strand against my cheek. My green and blue eyes water at remembering you. I long for your touch, that day when you held me in the waters. I cry knowing you will never embrace me again. My lips yearn to touch yours just as they did that fateful day. I am no longer a summoner, there is no need for a high summoner such as I. In fact, if you were here, we could live happily together, we could go back to Zanarkand and watch the sunset as u tell me the stories of when u lived there. My fingers inch towards my mouth, my fingertips brush against my lips. I blow, whistling. You'll come right? I need you... you promised that you will come for me if i whistle. Here i am, im whistling and you still arent here. My eye's well up with tears again as i fall to my knees and hug myself.

Tighter, i hold myself tighter everytime i think of you because... i feel lonely without you. I fell in love with you, and yet you leave me. I look at my rippling reflection, my green eye seemed to glow more than my blue. Tears begun to finally fall from my thick black lashes, distorting my image. Come back to me... come back to me. I yearn for you, i call for you and yet.. you still dont come. I lift myself back up and stick my two fingers in my mouth again, this time blowing with all my might. I whistle until i lose all my breath. Should i give up hope? Should i forget about you? I ask myself this, but even if i tell myself i should i know that i wont be able to. I wipe away my tears and turn my back toward the water, walking back to the village. Wakka and Lulu will be waiting for me. I should really thank them because... they've supported me ever since you left. If fact, i think they might get together, im happy for them. But it only makes me think of you again and again. I take in a quivered breath, im ok now, and let it out. No... i dont have the spirit to be ok. I need you.

"Yuna!" Wakka waves at me from afar after spotting me. I raise my head and smile. He was always there for me, as a guardian and a friend. I always thought it was funny how his hair slicked up like a cow had licked his orange hair. My smile brightened as i thought of this. I picked up my pace and started to run, letting my blue skirt skim the gravel. Soon, I saw Lulu walk from Wakka's hut. She smiled with her deep purple lips. Lulu was like a sister to me, her braided black hair pranced behind her within each step she took, also her bangs fell limp upon her forehead covering a bit of her eyes. She was beautiful and i admired her charm. Kimahri was there to, standing in the distance with his arms crossing his chest. His usual stance. I've always looked up to that Ronso ever since that day he took me in as his own. I was crying, because i had realized my father had dyed while defeating sin. Kimahri came to me that day, and ever since ive looked up to him. In fact most people would be afraid when a Ronso came up to them, they were like animals. Blue fur covered Kimahri's body and they all had horns such like a unicorn, but Kimahri... his horn was cut off.

"You Ok, ya?" Wakka put a hand on my shoulder as i approached them, Lulu had her hand on my other shoulder. They watched me carefully and i knew if i said i was, they knew it was a lie. Nevertheless, my lips curved into another smile. It was always like this, I'd come back to the village and both Wakka and Lulu were always worried... even Kimahri. I shook their hands off my shoulders and took a step back shaking my head up and down.

"Of course i am. Wakka... Lulu.." I said keeping that same smile upon my face. If i let it go, i knew i would cry. They days are getting longer and slower, making it even hard adjusting that your gone. Deep down, i could never accept this, its not true because... because you'll come back to me. "Im going to go pray." I announce to them and push them aside as i step foward, in the direction of the temple. I need to get my mind off of things, lately i have been praying alot even though i no its pointless. Im not a summoner anymore, there is no use for me. Wakka stops me by resting a hand on my shoulder again, pushing me back a little bit. I look at Lulu with teary eyes.

"You dont need to pray anymore, Yuna." She said in her low feminine voice. She then looked to the side revealing to me her smooth cheek. I watch her, as if mesmerized, but really... i didnt know how to respond or what to do. Lately, my mind has been on just you, nothing else. Perhaps... deep down i believe that if i never lose hope, you'll come back. Im not smiling anymore, nor can i put up a fake one. Little ways away, i see Kimahri walking towards us. I think he thinks something is wrong. Im still looking at Lulu and finally she looks back. I can see the sadness she weilds, i can tell that she feels sorry for me.

"Lulu..." I whisper her name and turn my body towards her, only to fall into her arms weeping. Im not embarrassed to cry anymore, it just hurts to much. My fingers clasp around her arms, holding her tight as my tears dampen her dress. "Lulu..." i whimper her name again as more tears run from my different colored eyes. "I cant... i cant... I miss him.." I tilt my head up to her, looking in her reddish brown eyes. She watches me back. This time, her arms are around me to, her eyes teary as well.

"Yuna... Sin is gone, in order for sin to finally be vanquished... he had to go." She threw the truth at me as if throwing a thousand needles into my heart. I only wept harder. "He loved you, Yuna... he wanted you to live." She said. I couldnt hold myself up anymore and i fell to my knees bringing Lulu along with me. We were still in each other's arms, crying.

"H..He'll come back... right?" I ask her afraid to know the truth. "He promised he would come... He promised." i told them letting my arms slip from their grasp on Lulu. I leaned back a little, hugging myself this time. Wakka bent down behind me, watching my back. I know he is speechless, he's seen my cry many times but never for a lost love. He and Lulu were the ones who taught me to smile even when i want to cry. Remember... i taught you that to. I looked at Lulu, she was afraid to answer me.

"Im sorry." Lulu spoke such hurtful words even if they weren't. They pierced me. I turned to Wakka, grabbing his arms with panic. My eyebrows turned fiercely to each other as my eyes threatened to tear up again.

"He'll come back.. right.. Wakka..." I hesitated and bent my head down, looking at the gravel. "Tell me he will..." I whisper even though i know the answer. You wont come back. Wakka didn't say anything, he was afraid to i just know it. I slap my hand to the gravel and lift myself up, stumbling to catch my balance. "He'll come back!" I yell at them and turn around, running to the edge of the village, leaving Wakka and Lulu behind. I stop little ways away from them and take a deep breath before letting it out in a high pitched whistle. You'll come back... i lose my breath again, but take in another letting out a whistle once more. I remember, when i first met you... you screamed because you hurt. I let my hand drop to my side and i scream. "COME BACK!" Before I know it, Kimahri is standing by my side. I look at him, tears streaming form my eyes.

"Kimahri sad because Yuna sad." he admitted, crossing his arms again while looking off into the distance. I wipe my eyes and realize, im crumbling apart, every day your not here. Everyday i dont see you, im slowly losing all hope. I turn around to face the village and glance up at Kimahri.

"Dont be, This is a Yuna problem." i tell him with a smile, but this one was real. Kimahri was worried, he's always like that and somehow... he always makes me feel better. I look back once more before walking towards the village again. "Tidus... I love you." I whisper even though i know Kimahri had heard me. I walk to Wakka and Lulu once more, feeling more like myself too.

"Feeling better, ya?" Wakka greeted me as i nodded. Lulu put a hand on my back as she led me to her cottage; Wakka following behind.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes i wonder... What if you had never existed? What if i had never met you? Finally, the sun was going down and once again it's night. This day is almost gone, taking a bit of my hope with it. Wakka and Lulu went into another cottage leaving me by myself. I dont want to be alone though, but i couldnt tell them that. I sit up and just look ahead of me, i look at nothing. Why is it that... i can still feel you? Will i ever get to see you again? My hand brushes against the weak bed i sit upon and lift myself up. I feel like praying, then again... perhaps i go to the temple because... i first met you there and i hope that when ever im done i will see you, standing right before my eyes and making sure i dont get hurt.

I lift my feet off the bed and brush my hair to the side as i sit up, walking to the edge of the opening. I peer out, finding the village dead. Where have you gone? I lean down, until im resting against the opening of the hut. Im here, Tidus, im waiting for you. I look out into the village yet again. I can see a few animal trotting by, lost in their own world. My head leans back and i close my eyes, holding back more tears i suppose. I would whistle again, for you.. but i dont want to wake anybody.

My eyes open at the rumbling of voices, whispering to each other. Just a moment ago, the village was dead. Not a soul in site and now, people were peering out their own huts as if their gazes and attention were brought umongst one certain thing... or person. I lift myself up and take a step out from my cottage. I was confused, the next thing i know people were looking at me. Lulu and Wakka ran up to me with smiles beaming upon their faces. Wakka's hands stuck into his yellow pockets and Lulu just leaned against the hut, even a slight smile was seen upon her dark lips.

"Its time." Lulu finally spoke, her soft comforting voice. She looked at me and i looked at her. Her hands came from her back and smoothed out her dark dress, taking a step toward Wakka. "The reawakening." she whispered and rested both her hands upon Wakka's shoulder, he looked at her and i could see there was a connection. Lulu closed her eyes for a moment, the small light gleaming upon her dark eyeshadow. Wakka took his gaze from her and back at me.

"He's back, ya?" He smiled at me and lifted his hand, making sure he didnt stir Lulu, who was currently clinging on his shoulder. He pointed to the front of the village, the entrance. My eyebrows pointed to each other as a gust of wind passed us by. It felt cool and comforting. My eyes followed the direction to where he pointed and what i saw... i was speechless.

His spiked blonde hair, blowing in the wind as with mine. His tanned skin, gleaming with the moonlight, and his eyes... they were fixed upon me. Tidus stood before the entrance of the village of Besaid. My long blue skirt fluttered within the midnight air as with my arm sleeves. Tears fell from my different colored eyes, i just couldnt believe it. He came back. Tidus took a step towards me, closer... closer until he was a few feet away.

"Yuna." He spoke my name so swiftly, i didnt know what was real and what wasnt. I closed my eyes as if cherishing this moment, finally.. he had heard my call. "Yuna..." My name came from his mouth yet again as i opened my teary eyes to him, we locked gazes as time went by. His sea blue eyes store into mine. My legs wouldnt move even when i forced them to, i wanted to run right into his arms, feel his touch.. feel his lips upon mine. He smiled at me and took another step closer until he was inches from me.

"Tidus!" I cried his name and finally my arms came around his warm body. "You came back!... you came back.." i whispered over and over into his ear. My heart stopped as his arms wrapped around my waist. Tears welled at the brim of my eyes collecting the salty liquid before falling down as a teardrop. Once again, i was lost in his gaze. I felt so calm, so right in his arms, i couldnt express it all. He was back, back in my arms and by my side.

"I heard your whistle and i had to come." he said and pushed my back alittle so he could gaze upon my green and blue eyes. "it was a promise after all." Tidus smiled and i could see his perfect white teeth, i wanted to kiss him. My gaze went to the gravel, until his hand was against my chin, lifting my face up and brushing away a few strands of hair. His face leaned closer to mine until our lips touched. I longed for his kiss and finally it came; my arms trailed from around his stomach to around his neck as i kissed him more passionately, him returning it. Eyes closed, we kissed for what seemed like an eternaty. Tell me... why is it that every time i kiss you, im crying? Your finally here, but why do u still feel so distant?

We pull apart and i look back at Lulu and Wakka. I feel a little embarassed for kissing in front of them, but im also happy. My heart flutters as i turn my gaze towards Tidus again, just watching him; i feel like a little girl with a silly crush.

"I lo-" i began to say until Tidus stops me. He shakes his head, kissing me again and pulling apart. His lips move, and yet i cant hear what he is saying. I watch him, confused. I want to know what he is saying but i hear nothing from him. I turn my head, Lulu is nodding and so is Wakka. "Lulu... Wakka..." i whisper their names but they seem to not hear me. I look back, Tidus is still talking with no voice. Why cant i hear you?.. What are u saying! I push him away and lift my hand, pulling a lock of hair behind my ear. What... are you.. saying? I ask myself this, i dont know the answer.

"... Come... Zanarkand..." My eyes shift in shock, i hear only two words before he's staring at me again. His body bends, as he kisses me on the cheek. I close my eyes again, forgetting my confusing, but when i open them... Tidus is gone. I gasp and stumble backwards, where did he go! I panic and look back, everyone... everyone is gone. I spin around, lost in my own confusion yet again, where did u go.. where... I fall to my knees again and look up to the starry moonlight sky. I close my eyes and whimper.

When i open them again, its quiet. Im back where i was, in the opening of the cottage.

"Was it... all a dream...?" i ask nobody. My head leans back again, letting tears stream from my eyes. Dont cry, Yuna. i tell myself this. Your to old to cry, your not a little girl anymore. I cant help it. I take in a deep breath, standing up and walking out into the spiritless village. No Tidus, No Wakka and no Lulu. It really was all a dream. My fingers trail from my side up to my lips, i sigh again. "I can still feel your lips against mine." i whisper aloud. I fall to the ground, just like my dream and look up into the sky. Zanarkand... "So thats where you'll be waiting..." i say and smile, looking back down and standing up. I head back to the cottage, only to drift off into sleep once again.

Its morning before i know it, and i just lay there in my bed. I dont feel like getting up, my body aches and so does my heart. Lulu enters the cottage, Throwing clothes at me. I sit up finally and take them.

"I cant wear this..." i said jokingly and spread out the skimpy outfit. Lulu smirks and walks to what looks like a couch, she takes a seat and leans her upper body against her knees. "You honestly think i should change my style dont you..." i look at her and stand up. "i guess a change is for the best..." i say more to myself and slip off my clothes.

"I know what you are thinking, Yuna." Lulu says to me as i slip on the low cut top. I give a little chuckle and grab the mini skirt, slipping that on to. After fastening it, i look into the mirror, checking out my image. The blue frilly shirt, revealing cleavage and my belly button seems to stand out the most. As well as the upper thigh skirt, a scarf hanging from my waist. I like it but it doesnt seem to be me.

"Oh really?" i say with a smile and glance at her, showing off the new look. Lulu smirks and leans back.

"You're thinking of traveling." She looks at me, im shocked she knows me so well. I grin and sit down on the bed, crossing my legs. (she looks like what she does in x-2) "You're not a summoner anymore, Yuna. There is no need to travel and with those old clothes, you do need a change."

"Im traveling... because he's waiting." i look up at the cottage ceiling and my smile drifts away. "Zanarkand... he'll be waiting for me in Zanarkand, Lulu." i say honestly, the truth comes out. Lulu shakes her hand and stands up. "I had a dream, he was in it.. and i know.. he will be waiting for me."

"Its your decision, but dont get your hopes up to much, i dont want you to break down if he isnt waiting for you." She sighed and walked to the opening of the cottage. "Me and Wakka, we'll come with you. After all, we are your gaurdians whether ur a summoner or not." she smiles and leaves the cottage. Our journey starts now, Tidus... im coming.

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Thank you all so much for your comments, i greatly appreciate it. And now this was chapter two, soon to be chapter three, plz comment again because its my inspiration. Also, i want to know how u think of the story so far, and perhaps some ideas?

-Mitsuki-


	3. Chapter 3

I remember that feeling i felt when i ran through you. Just knowing that moment, i could never touch you or feel you again. I was devastated. Your spirits just floating about, you disappearing and walking through me. When i told you i loved you, i meant it. Sometimes i wonder, was it even worth it? At that moment, i wanted to jump off with you, i wanted to grasp your hand and smile as we drifted away together. I knew it wasn't possible. Im planning to go to the Farplane. I want to see for myself if your really dead. Also, im afraid to go to the Farplane. I don't want to know the truth and yet i do. The day you disappeared, i can still feel your arms around me. I remember how i didnt feel your warmth because u didnt have any. I longed to feel your warm moist breath against my ear as u stood so close, but i didnt. You were not human, you were just like a ghost. After that night, i wept for you, but you never came. You only appear in my dreams, tell me... is that the only place to where i can see you? My dreams...?

"Lulu... Do you think... this is a good idea?" I stood up and looked at my reflection in the mirror again. There was a quality i loved about myself. My right eye was green and my left eye was blue. I smiled to myself, but it was a fake. I shifted my weight to the side and brushed my hair away from my face and looked at Lulu. She looked the same as always, her gothic belted dress and her animal fur trailing the top of her outfit. Her braids hung low against her back and her chop sticks stuck out more in a little bun utop her head. She looked at me and closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"This is what you want, Yuna." She spoke and walked to the couch, sitting down and picking up a cup of hot brewed tea. She poured the tea into another cup and slid it across the table for me. "Dont doubt yourself, you told me earlier today that you knew he was waiting. Do not doubt that. Believing is better than not believing." Lulu lifted her cup and sipped the steaming herbal water. "We will leave at noon. Hurry and pack what you need." She stood up, leaving the cup on the table and walking towards me.

"Will Rikku travel with us?" I asked Lulu as she inspected my outfit she had given me just awhile ago. I spread out the skirt more and looked at her.

"She is a guardian, wherever you go we must follow." She looked in the mirror from behind me and smiled. "Yuna... you will see him again, i assure you." Her smile faded and she walked back to the couch, lifting her cup. I knew what she meant by that. If you aren't in Zanarkand... you will definately be in the Farplane. I looked down to the cottage floor and bit my bottom lip. My heart suddenly ached for you. My hand come to my breast and cluched into a fist. Lulu's words hurt me again, even though she had no intention to.

"I.. Im going to... find Wakka." I whispered and walked out of the cottage without having Lulu's consent. I didnt want to hear anymore, i didnt want to think about you dead because... your aren't dead... right? I ran towards the temple, my skirt flailing behind me. Why does it hurt so much? I stopped at the entrance and gasp for breath. My eyes watered from exhaustion and i looked up at the building. My memories... are here... the moment i first met you, i met you in here. I took a step inside of the temple and looked around. I can still remember that day so vividly. I walked up the middle steps and stopped in front of the Summoner's entrance. My hand rose and carressed the metal of the door. Tidus... I was exhausted from praying and i had just earned my first Aeon, Valefor. I walked out of the room and fell down the stairs, to be caught by Kimari. That moment i layed eyes on you, you were a complete stranger to me and yet i felt a connection. Later, I had asked for you to be a gaurdian and you gladly accepted. You told me you were from Zanarkand, a thousand years from the past. I believed you, I never doubted you one bit. I wanted to cry as i remembered those memories. I dont want you to be just that, i want you to be more... not just a memory.

"Yunie!" A familair voice trailed the Temple. I recongnized its energetic tone, Rikku had arrived. "Oh, Yunie! I heard about you traveling! Its not another pilgramage is it?" Rikku ran up the stairs and stood behind me. "Yunie?" I turned around as a single tear fell from my eye. "Oh, yunie..." Rikku wrapped her arms around me, i was just feeling horrid that moment. All those precious memories coming back at me all at once, i was terrified that they could possibly never be real... that ill have to forget everything and even.. forget about you. I shook my head and wiped my eyes.

"Rikku... you just caught me at an odd moment." I chuckled and hugged her back. "Your coming with me, right?" I asked her, pulling apart and looked at her oddly revealing outfit. She wore a yellow bra and short shorts. Rikku smiled at me and grabbed my hand.

"Of course im coming with you, Im still a gaurdian ya no." she giggled and pulled me along, out of the temple. I turned my head behind me and looked one last time at that same door. This will probebly be the last time i see it in a long time. My lips curved into a smile and begun to laugh, Rikku along with me. At the entrance stood Kimari, Lulu and Wakka. We were ready for our journey. There were only two people missing, and that was Auron and you.

"Lulu... Wakka.. everyone..." I wanted to cry again, but knew that it was weak. In side, im still a summoner... i need to be strong. I took a deep breath and smiled again. I know what Auron would say, 'we wait until Yuna is ready.' I cherish those days, back in the pilgramage. "Im ready." i annouce and let go of Rikku's hand. Lulu looked at Wakka and then Kimari took a step closer to me.

"Yuna ready... we leave." He said and started to walk ahead, out of the village of Besaid. Lulu glanced at me and smiled with her deep plum colored lips. My dream didnt lie, there was a connection between Wakka and Lulu. Rikku jumped up and down and skipped ahead of me humming to herself as her blonde hair bounced behind her in a ponytail.

"C'mon Yunie! Everyone's gonna leave you!" She called back behind her. My heart still felt odd, as if it was ripped in half and was badly sewn back together. I turned around and gazed at Besaid. People were walking by, a few even waving at me. Do i really mean that much to everyone? I gave everyone happiness, but i had to sacrifice my happiness for them. I had to give up my own hope, in hope of Spira having an eternal calm. But... is there such a thing as an eternal calm? Suddenly, i feel so alone. No one from Spira can feel my pain, the loss of losing you. They dont know half of it all. Because their happy, they seem to forget about the people around them, they forget about the people still in pain. Everyone expects so much from me, because i am a summoner, i am the one bringing the Eternal Calm. I am the one who defeated sin, but.. i didnt do it alone. You helped me to, it was you that gave me courage and it was you that had let me live. The temple is the only thing i see right now, i feel so connected to it and yet i dont. I take a deep breath and turn around, facing my destiny. The others were up ahead and i had to catch up. Goodbye Besaid, until my arrival, people of besaid... I ask you, do not forget about me.


	4. Chapter 4

"To Kilika!" Rikku spinned around and begun to walk backwards. "Are you excited, Yunie?" She asked me with a grin. Rikku is of the Al Bhed races. They are professionals when it comes to Machina, a form of robots and machines. Tidus claimed to meet Rikku on an Al Bhed boat just before he arrived to Besaid. At first Wakka was not fond of the Al Bhed and went by his rules saying 'the Al Bhed go against Yevon's teachings' It was not true. Now, Wakka and Rikku are friends and they do not hate each other.

"I hear they're rebuilding Kilika, ya?" Wakka turned his head to Rikku and watched her. She spun around and begun to skip upon the sandy beach. Wakka held a loving expression as he walked beside Lulu. Lulu on the other hand was staring ahead at the boat before of us. We were to go by boat for our destination. Kilika was destroyed by Sin awhile back, shortly after we had left it. That was the first time you had visited. In time, the people from that village begun to rebuild it.

"Oh, Yunie! I cant wait to see what they've done to the place!" Rikku pranced while dancing along. I watched her with a smile, I admired that girl. She was so carefree and innocent, she was hyper... so much like a little girl. I, on the other hand, im mature, i have to take responsibility and think before doing. I learned all this when i became a Summoner. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking in the fresh air. We were headed to the dock, the very place where i stand to whistle. I've gotten better at my whistling, perhaps now you'll come because you'll be able to hear it. I open my eyes again, lifting my hand up to my forehead, sheilding away the sunlight.

"Im excited." I said through parted lips. Rikku turned around, walking backwards again and tilted her head to the side as if telling me to repeat myself. "Im excited because... every moment, where getting closer and closer to Zanarkand." Closer to you...

"Remember what i said, Yuna." Lulu told me from up ahead. I looked up at her back, long dark braids were floating behind her in the wind and her dress was skimming the sand. "Come, where getting closer to the boat." She announced and finally we stepped upon the dock. My heart begun to beat rapidly, so close... i feel so close to you. Rikku begun to run excitedly until she stood at the opening of the ship, waving at us. My smile came back as i, too, begun to run after her.

"Kilika, here we come!" Rikku chanted as she jumped up in the air giving me a high five, which i returned to her. She turned her back towards me and stepped on the ship, walking around in amazement. I followed, then Lulu, Wakka, and Kimari. We were ready to set sail. "Oh, this trip will be fun.." Rikku mumbled and stopped at the railing. She turned her body towards me and lifted an eyebrow. "Yunie... What do u plan on doing... now that your not a summoner anymore?" She turned back around and gazed at her reflection in the rippling waters below us. I walked up to her and leaned against the railing, copying her. My reflection was distorted.

"Obviously, im on a quest, im going to Zanarkand." I let out a slight chuckle and looked at her. Lulu and Wakka were headed their way to the deck. I smiled to myself, i was happy for them.

"No, I mean after we go to Zanarkand. but.. would if, ya no.. would if-" she begun to say before i turned my body towards her and lifted my hand up.

"Dont finish." i said plainly and leaned my back on the railing. I looked up to the sky, clouds covered the sun now making the land darker than usual. "After... I think I'll come back to Besaid. Or..." I couldnt finish the rest. Rikku shouldn't have brought you up. Or i'll continue to search for you. I finished the sentence in my head.

"I..Im sorry." Rikku looked at me as her smile faded. I looked at her and lifted my hand only to rest it on her shoulder. I gave her that same smile, that same fake and shook my head. There was no need for her to be sorry, one way or another i was going to be forced with the truth.

"Don't be." i said and let my hand drop from her smooth tanned skin. I took in another deep breath and looked out into the distance, once more looking down at my reflection. I didnt notice, but shortly after i took my attention away, Rikku had walked away. Probebly thought it best to leave me alone.

Do you remember? It was right before you had found out a summoner's destiny was to die defeating Sin. We were in the Macalania woods, in the lake. I was looking back on what we had just done and suddenly you appeared. I remember... you went into the water and started to tell me what we were going to do after we beat Sin. You told me that we could go to Zanarkand and you would tell me a whole bunch of stories about a thousand years ago. You told me that we would both watch the sunset together and... then i realized... none of that was to come true. I knew i was going to die, but you had no idea. So many things you came up with that we could do together without the worry of Sin. You had no idea of my fate. You didnt know that once i summoned the final Aeon, i was a sacrifice. I had to lose my life in order to save Spira. I was afraid to tell you because you were so happy then. You had so many ideas of what to do and i couldnt spoil that. Instead i begun to cry. I cried there in the lake and you swam up to me, confused. You took me in your arms and gazed into my eyes. Then, you leaned forward, kissing me. I kissed you back, because it was then that i truly fell in love with you. Everytime I gaze upon water, that scene replays over and over. A part of me knows, i will never get to kiss you again. That night in the Macalania woods, i understood that you had fallen for me also. How could you be gone? I just didnt get it, that time and any other time, you were human. I felt you, i could touch you, you were warm and ur lips were moist with your hot breath. You were real. Now, you are nothing, just a mere memory. Its as if you had never existed, but i no... because i have placed you and my love for you deep in my heart.

"Yuna." Lulu walked up beside me and rested a hand on my back. "It'll be ok." Lulu always seems to know what goes on in my mind, she aways seems to know just exactly how i am feeling. "Its time to come inside, its getting dark out." she half whispers and gazes up at the now upcoming moon. I didnt realize how much time i had spent just thinking about you. After today, another part of my hope will fly away into the sky, never to be seen again. I nod and look at her. She watches me closely and lifts a hand, brushing my hair behind my ear. "I no what you are thinking, Yuna."

"I know you do, You've never been wrong." I smirk and look up to the sky. Stars were beginning to appear. Each one looked like little lit up spheres, thousands... millions covering the sky. "Are we close to Kilika?" I ask her looking back down at the pitch black waters.

"Close... close enough. Id say we still have a day or two left before we actually arrive." She explained to me and brushed her braids behind her with her hand. "Cheer up, Yuna. Make this journey fun." Lulu fiddled with a belt buckle on her black dress, i could see her thigh high stockings. Pretty revealing, but good enough for Wakka.

"Where is Wakka?" I ask her and she looked at me quizically. I smirked again and looked away from her. "Just wondering." I knew she knew i know about her feelings.

"He's inside." she still watched me with confusion, with slight suspision. "Why do you ask, lady Yuna." she smirked at me and turned her gaze to the opposite direction.

"Hmm? You mean there is nothing going on between you two?" I laughed and took a step forward, grinning at her. Lulu looked at me in disbelief, making me laugh even more. It was getting darker out, we were almost like two shadows wondering the boat.

"Me.. and Wakka?" Her mouth was slightly opened, she looked extra dark tonight. "Im sorry, Lady Yuna, but you are sadly mistaken." she grinned at me, shifted her body so that her purple lips shined with the moonlight. I walked a few steps away from her and looked back.

"Oh am i?" I couldnt help but smile even wider, i was enjoying this. "And what were you two doing.. ALONE on the deck? hmm?" i joked and turned my whole body around, making my skirt flutter. Lulu was still grinning at me, i could tell she was embarrassed.

"We... we were..." Lulu hesitated and looked away. "just talking." she finished her sentence and took a step toward me.

"Are you sure about that?... I know what you are thinking, Lulu." I imitated her with a smirk. She grabbed me by the arm and i let out a yelp. She was blushing, i could tell because now i was just a few feet away from her.

"shhhh." she lifted a finger to her mouth and watched me cautiously. "Ok.. so maybe u know a little more about me than i thought." Lulu let out a chuckled and let me go. Together we both laughed. We did that too remember? I was teaching you how to laugh even though you were sad. We really looked like fools that day didnt we? I was truly laughing with Lulu, partly because i was remembering that day, where u stood in Lulu's place laughing aloud with me.

Tidus... don't let my hopes fade away. I want to see you again, i want to hold you again. I want to tell you that i love you.

* * *

_I do understand that some of my Information throughout the story may be wrong, (concerning the game) its been so long since ive played the actual game, so please forgive me. u.u _


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

We're taking baby steps toward our destination. We have to be careful, but i cant help but wonder, why must we go so slow. Will you still be waiting for me in Zanarkand or... is this whole trip just a fraud. Are you really there, or have you really disappeared taking my love with you? We've only just left earlier today, so why am i being tortured with such horrible thoughts. I can just see it, us arriving at Zanarkand to nothing. Lulu was inside the boat already because i told her i still wanted some time alone to think. To think about you.

I take in a deep breath of nightly air and walk towards the deck. I want to see it all, the ocean, the cool night breeze and the dark starlit sky. I approach the deck and walk to the very edge. We first talked right here, in this spot. It was right after i was speaking with Kimari. Why is it, that so many things remind me of you? Its as if your spirit is all around me, but i don't want to think of it that way. Your spirit... surrounding me, it hurts to much to even think about it. If... you really are at the Farplane, then my journey is over. I say this because, if i see you there it means you are dead. It would be a waste of time to continue to Zanarkand. I don't even know if I'll have the courage to step onto the Farplane.

The wind blows against my skin, the tiny hairs stand up from the sudden coolness. I close my eyes and let my hair and my skirt flutter within the gust. I like it... its so comforting. I could never ask for more. When i open my eyes, i see the rippling waters ahead and nothing further than that. This night was truly a beautiful one. If only i could be standing here with you.

"You're gone... aren't you." I spoke as my eyes begun to water. I lift my hands up to my chest in fists. Once again, my skin tingles remembering that last moment when you disappeared. The wind picks up and throws my skirt around fiercely around me, revealing more of my pale moonlight skin. The truth is what I'm scared of. I do not want to accept that your gone, but a part of me tells me its not true. That your still here, wondering the earth... possibly looking for me. I shake my head and hold back my tears. I will not cry, i am not weak. I no that i will get to see you again. Even if i only see your spirit, even if your not here, no matter... because i will get to see you, whether you are alive or not. I do not want to think this way, but it is the truth. I will see you in the Farplane if you do not exist anymore, but the voice that i long for, i will not hear it.

"Yunie...?" Rikku slowly walked behind me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "Its time to go inside, everyone is going to sleep." She spoke quietly and i looked back at her. She looked different because her hair was down and wet. Each dark blonde hair stuck closely against her slightly tanned skin. I smiled at her and wrapped my arms around her tiny body. "Yunie..." she was confused, i could tell... but right now i needed somebody to hold. I needed to feel the warmth of another body.

"Ok." I whispered and let her go. Rikku watched me closely and gave me a hug in return. I held her back and squeezed her back. I wanted to know whether this was a dream or not, i wanted to know if i existed. "I... Just let me stay like this for a moment." I asked her and dug my head in her shoulder.

"Of course, Yuna." It was unusual for Rikku to call me by my real name because I've grown quite ammune to her calling me 'Yunie' instead of 'Yuna' even when everyone else calls me by that. I held her close and sighed, if only you were here... if only. "I'm sorry..." Rikku looked at me, I could see the dark black swirls deep in her eyes, it was an Al Bhed trait.

"Don't be, I'll be alright." I tell her and let my arms drop to my sides. "Thank you." I nod and take a step from her, heading toward the boat cabin. I look back and Rikku is looking off into the distance. I wonder if she has ever lost a love or even been in love. I look ahead and reach out my hand to the doorknob and open the door. Its dark and everybody is in their own separate rooms, sleeping.

Closing the door behind me, i take my own room and sit down unto what looks like a bed. The room was small because it was a boat, but it was comfortable. I lean back on the cushions and stare up at the ceiling. There is a window next to me and i can easily stare off into the distance, I turn my head and look out. Wondering spirits floated by, they looked like little rainbow orbs floating around. Where ever you go in Spira, you will see these certain 'orbs' everywhere.They care called Pyreflies. At first, as a summoner, it was my duty to rid of these old spirits, but you could never get rid of every single one. The duty is not mine anymore, nor any others. Death was amongst us all, it was a way of life and every second throughout spira, somebody is dying.

I turn my body to the side and look at the opposite direction than i was before. It felt so lonely, just knowing you are not here. This journey is like a new Pilgramage, but without you. My first pilgramage was with you and Auron, but now it just feels so empty. I finally close my eyes and drift off into a slumber, one that will take me away to a world with no worries, a world with no death.

"Yunie! Yunie!" Rikku bursts into my room and hopped up and down, letting her blonde hair bounce behind her in the usual pony tail. "Yunie, come look! Its Kilika! We're almost there!" She giggled and walked to me, shaking by body. I look at her and sit up on the bed, lifting my hand and rubbing my drowsy eyes.

"What..?" I half mumble to her. My gaze turns toward the window that was next to me, its already bright out. Morning.

"C'mon, see for yourself!" Rikku grabs my arm and pulls me out of the bed. I stumble from drowsiness and spread my skirt out. "We're gonna arrive to Kilika soon!" She jumps with joy, her hand still grasping mine.

Once outside, i can see it. Far off into the distance, there is a village atop of the water. Huts and palm trees, people and ladders; this was the village called Kilika. In a few hours, we would successfully have taken one step closer towards you. I watch in amazement as we get closer, inch by inch. Rikku was as hyper as ever with her teenage body, jumping and skipping all around the deck. I smiled and leaned against the railing upon the deck and looked off into the distance. We were getting close to the village. Lulu and Wakka were together again, talking and joking around. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but i could tell that Lulu was having a great time. Perhaps this journey would bring the two closer together. Lulu glanced at me with a smile before looking back at Wakka. I immediately smiled back before looking away in embarrassment. I hadn't known i was looking at them for so long. Close to my side, Kimari was standing by himself, ing his stance, watchin the ocean.

"Hey, Kimari!" i ran up to him, bending my body a little almost in a bow and looked up at him with a grin. "Are you excited?" i asked him leaning on the railing.

"If Yuna excited, then Kimari excited." He spoke through his lion-like mouth and looked away from me. "Kilika close." He said watching the place through his yellow eyes.

"It is, Kimari... Kilika is very close... You know, lets make this trip exciting and fun." I watched him with enthusiasm and took a step closer to his side. "No, it's already is fun." I closed my eyes and wrapped my arm around his large animal furred one. He looked down at me and then back at the upcoming village. "Do you think He's waiting for me?" I asked him even though i didn't want to know that answer. I had to know what Kimari, my eldest and yet reliable gaurdian, really thought.

"That is something you think about." He said plainly even though i expected this kind of response. Perhaps that was why i even asked him. Any tother person would have told me whether he was or not, evenhough they didn't know.

"Thank you, Kimari." I let my hand off his arm and let it hang over the railing. "Well it looks like we'll be arriving really soon, we should get ready." I suggested and walked away from Kimari, back to the very front of the boat to look out at the village. I wonder if we'll be staying the whole night here... I thought to myself and turned around to see my fellow gaurdians. They were all laughing and joking around except for me. Maybe i am being ridiculous traveling just because i saw you in a dream. I was right, you know, im slowly loosing hope within the upcoming day. I wonder... is it really such a good idea to do all this? Am i acting like a spoiled child, whining until she gets her way, traveling all the way from Besaid to Zanarkand. We're practically traveling all the way through Spira because of me. Tell me though... would it have been better if we had just stay in Besaid?


	6. Chapter 6

I was the last one off the boat and when I stepped onto Kilika port for the second time, I couldn't help but feel odd. I didn't feel right, but then again... Isn't it natural. I'm feeling the after affects of losing someone dear. I take in a deep breath of fresh air filled with the scent of sea. Everyone around me was smiling and ready to buy potions or various items necessary for our trip. I looked around at the new Kilika, everything was rebuilt and on the verge of being complete. My hands were clasp behind me as i walked on the planks through the village. Everything was so clean and many villagers were helping to finish the town. There is another temple here, the Kilika Temple. The temples gave me my Aeons, somehow i miss my Aeons. Defeating them in order to vanquish sin altogether only pained me. The devise was Yu Yevon, it controlled every one of my Aeons as if they were being possessed. We had to defeat them. I killed my own Aeons.

"Yuna..." Lulu called out behind me, interrupting my very thoughts. I turned around to look at her, i felt so far away from everyone. I nodded my head as if telling her to continue. "We stay for one night, tomorrow morning when you wake, we will travel to Luca." With that, Lulu turned her back towards me and continued her conversation with Kimari and the salesperson. I just stood there, my legs would not move. I remember, in Luca... you saved me from the Al Bhed. Then, we had not liked that race. I was captured and you had to destroy the Machina in order to find me. You were successful and you don't know how much I was happy when i saw that you were there, that you had came to find me. A part of me wonders if you did that only because i was the High Summoner and you were doing your job as a Guardian or that you had saved me... because you loved me.

"Lady Yuna!" A polite male voice called out to me. I turned around to see another former Summoner. Isaaru stood close by with a bright masculine smile across his face after seeing me. I smiled back to him and spread my arms apart, bringing them close together and laying one hand on top of the other as if i were carrying an invisible ball. This was our simble, kind of like a formal gesture of Spira. I met Isaaru in one of the Temples and he was readying himself for the battle of Sin. Of course i beat him to it and defeated Sin myself.

"Isaaru" I walked up to him and we exchanged polite gestures and glances. "I haven't seen you in a long while. What are you doing in Kilika?" I asked him watching him intently.

"Oh, I'm visiting Dona. Not that i want to, but Its just a friendly visit." Isaaru opened his mouth and let out a small laugh. I laughed with him and looked away. Dona was another Summoner to which i had met on my Pilgramage. We were halfway competing with each other to see who would defeat Sin first. Dona was dark skinned, she was beautiful in her own way and wore a yellow outfit, revealing alot of skin and she had a jewel right in between her dark eyes. She usually went by her saying 'i get what i want.' I looked back at Isaaru to see that his gaze had been on me the entire time. "And what about you, Lady Yuna?" He asked me suddenly after we stood in silence.

"Im on a journey." I said looking halfway up to the sky. Of course i was reminded of you again, but i couldn't dare tell Isaaru about you. I was focused on Isaaru's gaze again when i turned my head. He had this odd calmness around him, as if his aura were constantly pleasing and relaxing. He had light brown hair that came to his shoulders, but it was always pulled back in a high pony tail. Also, he wore a male's Summoner's outfit, it suited him quite well.

"A journey? Why so soon, the Great Calm has just started. Oh, but its all thanks to you, Lady Yuna. I want to thank you properly for fulfilling a Summoner's duty at defeating our greatest enemy." Isaaru bowed imitating the same gesture i did before as if he were carrying a large sphere. "I was unsuccessful, but you.. Lady Yuna.. you are an inspiration. We all have decided our fate the moment we became a Summoner. We were all prepared to lose our lives saving Spira, but you were a survivor. Somehow, you had defeated Sin without taking your life, and we all want to thank you and from now on, you will be remembered for as long as Spira lives." He looked at me with another smile and bowed to me with the gesture. I watched him, appalled by what he had just said and i was speechless. Everyone assumes it was I who had defeating our worst fears. Sin was dead all because of me? It was all wrong, I did not defeat Sin, that was you. I couldn't have done it without you and yet nobody even seems to care that you are gone. No one takes you for granted for saving Spira, even when you weren't even originally from here.

"No.. it wasn't just I... I had my guardians with me. I wasn't the only one who brought the Calm." I told him, hiding the sadness i held so deep within.

"Ah, yes. Forgive me, i have forgotten about the duty of a guardian. Of course, I could not have defeated Sin without my guardians as well." He looked at me closely with a grin. "Come, will you be staying for the night?" Isaaru asked me, reaching out a hand and grasping my arm. He begun to walk, leading me toward a cottage. I did not want to go where he was taking me, but his grasp was already tightening.

"Yes... but we leave tomorrow morning." I said honestly walking helplessly behind him. We came upon a small cottage, and immidiatly i knew it was Dona's home. He pushed me inside as he quickly closed the curtain door and turned towards me. My eyes shifted to the other direction and gazed upon a small table with a few cups scattered, one was even fallen on the floor.

"Lady Yuna, I was hoping to see you actually, and if i didnt... well i was planning on finding you in Besaid. I found this sphere while traveling up near Zanarkand. You know, that Guardian that was always with you. He didn't look to be of your kind, but he had the blonde hair and blue eyes..." his voice trailed off as he was looking deep in a chest, though... i knew exactly who he was talking about. He was talking about you.

"Tidus... His name was Tidus..." I corrected him and took a step closer to him, my skirt shifted and lay still against my smooth thigh. "He was a guardian, a very important one..." I half mumbled, hoping he did not hear me. Isaaru turned around and held out a crimson sphere to me. The small sphere fit perfectly in his palm as he kept his arms extended.

"Please, you do not need to thank me. I did not watch it all because once i saw this young man i knew it was for you. Please, take it." He pleaded me and i looked away. Was I ready to watch this sphere that I had not scene? If Tidus wanted me to see it... couldn't he had gave it to me before our departure? I hesitated to take the sphere, but nonetheless, I extended my arm and wrapped my palm around the round object. This sphere could hold soething im not ready to see...

"I..Isaaru..." I clutched the round object and held it close to my heart. Isaaru said... he saw you in this sphere.

"Go ahead... watch it." He sat down on Dona's bed and looked up at me with a grin. He was happy to have given me something so precious. I took a deep breath and clicked the sphere on. I recongized the place... it was Zanarkand. I don't know when he shot this, but I do know that i was close to when we had separated. The first few seconds where just that image and lines from neglect.

"Yuna..." I recognized his voice, it was indeed Tidus's. I took in another deep breath and forced myself to watch the rest of the video. My heart ached as he moved the camera so that i was looking upon his face. So young and so handsome, i couldn't even believe i was laying eyes on this. Tidus smiled and took a deep breath before speaking again.

"I don't know when you do see this, Yuna... but I know that i do not have much longer to live. I will disappear soon and Sin will be our last battle together. I know I have said so many things, I told you that we would lead a life close to one another and enjoy the ways of life, and my new life in Spira. Im sorry. Those dreams are just that, they are dreams. Even I... I am a dream. At this moment, you do not know that. I... i don't want to hurt you anymore, Yuna." Tidus let his head drop in his palms. I could tell he was stressed and that he must have done a lot of thinking while preparing this video.

"I don't even know if this darn thing even works. You know...Spira.. is so different than Zanarkand... I wish i could show you.. about Zanarkand a thousand years ago. Though, I do not wish to go back... I would rather live here with you and the others, Yuna. Traveling with you... honestly, at first i didn't care to much for all of you, I was selfish and all I wanted was to go back to Zanarkand. That was the only thing I thought of..." He looked up to the darkened sky and sighed, lifting his hand and brushing it through his hair.

"But you know, over time... i grew to care about you guys. Wakka... Lulu... Kimari... Rikku... but most of all, i cared about you. Something struck me that moment i saw you in Besaid, walking out of the temple from praying. I didn't understand then, but now i do. I will save you, I will gladly give up my life in order to save yours. heh... i must look rediculous." he began to laugh and lean back into the broken blocks of ruins. He looked up at the starry sky, but all i could see was his blonde hair sticking out from where he was laying, and his arms resting under his head.

"From all I've been through with you guys... you're all like family to me now. The family I never had... Yuna... i have one thing to tell you before i go..." Tidus flipped over so that he was staring right into the sphere, my heart melted at seeing his calm gentle expression. My hands urged to carress his tan skin and run my fingertips through his hair. My eyes began to water as i continued to watch and my heart was ripping in two.

"I love you.. Yuna. That night in the lake, that kiss was real. I love you, forever. Even when im not there, I'll always be thinking of you. There is one thing i ask for in return, and that is to never forget me." He smiled into the sphere and then it turned black. I tried to swallow, but the lump was already there in my throat and tears were running down my cheeks, now in streams and dripping onto my lap. The lump was getting bigger and I just wept from a whole new broken heart. Watching this sphere only made me miss you so much, your not here and yet i feel so close. The longing and the yearning... its tearing me apart. Isaaru is sitting next to me, but he doesn't dare touch me. I lift my hands and cover my eyes, wiping away the salty liquid, but its useless because more tears fall from my dark lashes. My light brown hair falls in my face, hiding it and i whimper in my palms. The sphere drops to the cottage floor with a 'thud' and rolls under the couch, but I don't care. My mind is on just you and knowing that seeing you in the Farplane will be even more heartbreaking. Please... if you break me one more time... you'll only break my soul.

* * *

_Im sorry for any misspelled words x.x I wrote this at night and i was tired, may correct later. In the mean time... i hope u enjoyed Chapter six and i am currently working on Chapter seven _


	7. Chapter 7

That night we all slept at the Inn, though I could not sleep. My mind wouldn't let me and so I lay there, staring at the ceiling and daydreaming. All I could think about was you and meeting you in person. After I had watched your sphere, i stood up, clutching it, and bowed to Isaaru in gratitude. He shook his head and told me it was alright, he would do anything for me, a high summoner. I'm not just that, I am Yuna of Besaid. Since then, I could not pry my hands from your sphere. It was like a last memory that I had to protect and keep safe or i will lose it, losing you along with it. Once I was in a private room, the inn had offered, I watched that deep crimson sphere over and over. The tears just wouldn't stop and the lump remained deep in my throat as if threatening to stop my breathing.

By morning, I was the last one to climb from my bed and approach my fellow guardians. When sleeping, I had dropped the sphere to which had fallen on the soft ground. It was not damaged, thankfully. My eyes felt heavy and drowsy and all I wanted to do was sleep, be away from reality. Luca was our new destination, we would go by boat once more. Everyone gathered at the port readying themselves to leave. Isaaru was there and so was Dona and her guardian. Everyone wanted to have a chance to tell me goodbye and to thank me for the Calm that would last an eternity. Nevertheless, I smiled and shook hands, I accepted thanks and gave out welcomes. Finally, it was time for our departure and I gave the people from Kilika Spira's honored gesture and then I turned my back to them, heading toward the boat.

"I'm sure... we would meet again, Lady Yuna." Isaaru spoke just as I had taken foot on the ship. I turned around and smiled to him, bowing yet again. He looked small and vulnerable from where i was standing and I admired his sense of care. He smiled back and watched as the ship began to set sail. My body leaned against the railing as I lifted my hands to my mouth.

"I'm sure we will!" I called out to him and let out a chuckle. I could already sense that he was apart of my future. I would indeed see him again for sure. I turned around to see Lulu standing behind, startling me. "Lulu..?" I leaned back against the railing as i had before and looked at her closely. She looked sad and less excited. She didn't even put her chop sticks in her hair, to which she always has in. Lulu looked at me and let out a sigh, walking to the railing beside me.

"And I thought everything was going well..." She spoke with such sadness in her tone, I felt sorry for her. She looked at me and then back out in the ocean. Kilika was far away, you couldn't even see it even if u squinted your eyes. "Chappu... I should not have spoke about him back in Kilika." Chappu was Wakka's brother who was now deceased. Long ago, he left Besaid to join the Crusaders and soon was killed by Sin. Before he was murdered, he had used Machina over his sword Wakka had given him. "I thought he was over his brother's death.. but I was wrong." Lulu looked at me and let out another sorrowful sigh. I wrapped my arms around her and leaned my head against her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Lulu." I half whispered through parted lips. I truly felt sorry, Lulu loved Wakka and now he was mad at her. There is nothing that hurts more. We both just stood there, gazing out into the ocean off endless water. Silent, and yet we shared everything in those moments.

"It's... alright." She said I could see the faint shape of a smile crossing her face. I looked up to the sky and finally decided to let her in on my secret sphere.

"Hey, Lulu... Want to see something I found in Kilika?" I asked her peering down the railing to the rushing waters below. I didn't wait for her to speak, I just turned around and rummaged through my belongings in a small chest. Finally, wrapped in many cloths and various fabric, i found it. Holding the sphere in my right hand, I walked back to Lulu and handed her the crimson sphere covered in fabric. She took it with a confused expression and opened it. Her eyes lit up at the view, she was in disbelief. "It's a camera sphere... Isaaru... he found it in Zanarkand. He gave it to me and I watched it. Tidus made it..." I smiled at tears welled up at the brims of my eyes. Just the thought of you just makes me even weaker. Lulu watched me and then looked back down at the sphere.

"Y..You sure?" She made sure before flipping it on and watching the very man I love speak through it. I nodded and watched it with her. Except, I wasn't concentrating on the video, I was daydreaming for when i meet you again. "Yuna...I...I just..." She was speechless and looked at me with sadness when the video was over.

"Don't look at me like that Lulu." I warned her and looked back down at the rushing water. "Don't look at me like that..." I knew what she was thinking, she felt sorry for me because you were in the Farplane. I fell to my knees and leaned my elbows on the railing bars, my head in my hands. Lulu was next to me, kneeling down. "Lulu... I don't care if I only get to see him in the Farplane. What matters is..." I hesitated and took in a deep breath of fresh air before continuing. "What matters is.. that I will get to see him again." I sighed and looked up at her, staring deep in her dark eyes.

"I'm sorry, I know.. we will get to see him again. You know.. I think Isaaru has gotten in interest in you... If i do say so myself." Lulu changed the subject, now sitting next to me near the edge. I looked at her with confusion and immediately began to blush.

"Lulu... Honestly... me and Isaaru! That's obsurd!" I began to laugh, forgetting about the sphere. She did that on purpose, to cheer me up. There really was nothing else to do on the boat, but joke around or make each other feel better. "As for you and Wakka... well that's another story. I wish you two would actually... you know.." I glanced at her for a moment and gave her a bright smile. "Im sure you two will make up in no time at all."

"I hope so..." She chuckled and flipped her braids back that had fallen upon her breasts. "I think... tonight I will talk to him. Apologize for what I had said. About Chappu. I know he is sensitive and I shouldn't have said anything. Thank you Yuna." She told me honestly as i listened and nodded. She was doing the right thing, and I couldn't help but feel better knowing that I had helped her.

"Isaaru... He's only interested in me because I survived from Sin. I defeated Sin and brought the Calm. Everyone admires me because of that. Im getting sick of it." I said harshly, but I didn't care. "Even if Isaaru liked me. My love is only for Tidus, you should know that Lulu. If Tidus is at the Farplane and he is dead, than I have no choice but to live alone." I spoke the truth and brought my knees to my chest, holding them close. "Remember, when I told him I loved him, the moment right before he left me... I knew right then I could never go on loving another man. It was hard enough going through a marriage with Seymour. I was not happy, but seeing him coming to my rescue... fighting all those men just to get to me. I saw his face, Lulu... I saw how he was so jealous of Seymour, I couldn't help but feel happy. I was so delighted knowing he cared for me so much. Did I tell you what happened that day in the Macalania Woods? He kissed me. In that lake... I heard in Kilika that the woods are soon to collapse. They won't live forever. My most precious memories lie in that very lake. I'm scared... that if the woods to break down, so will my memories." I stopped there and just gazed at my knees, which were pressed fiercely against my breasts. It had been so long since the last time I had come clean like this. I told her everything, everything that was on my mind and she listened. She listened to each and every word that came from my mouth.

"I'm sorry, Yuna." The only words that she spoke. I wanted her to say more, but no other words would make me feel better. Either way, it was useless. But just remembering about you made me feel better, I still longed for you and gradually everyone is going to know about my feelings deep down that I had just revealed to Lulu. They don't know how much I suffer without you. My hand trails from my knees down the sphere next to us. I turn it on and watch you. Again.. and again, I could never get enough of you. Lulu watched to, I was glad that she took her time and didn't leave me. She just gazed at the small palm sized sphere as you went on talking, about your life in Spira. You laughed and then I laughed... soon me and Lulu were both watching you over and over and laughing.

* * *

_I hope you all like my story so far, i promise you it'll get WAY more exciting later in the story. I do apologize for have this chapter late u.u Ive been busy, also i have exams coming up so ive been studying alot lately. Ive been seeing a decrease in commnents, and i ask you... plz comment me. I think i may have said this before, but in a way its my inspiration to write more. bows onegai! Well, until the next chapter I'll be waiting for some reviews biyas_

_mitsuki _


	8. Chapter 8

By nightfall, I was still sitting near the edge of the ship. Ever second we were getting closer to Luca. It would only pain me to go, but i had to if i wanted to go to Zanarkand. The big water ball of the blitzball field, it would all remind me of you. I leaned backward, now resting on my back and store up at the sky. Something was wrong, the stars would not show and it seemed as if the whole sky was covered in thick black clouds. A storm would be approaching. But why now?

"Yuna! Get in side, a storm is approaching!" Lulu slammed the door open and peered at me. Screaming now since thunder could be heard far off in the distance. I sat up and shifted my body. "Hurry, We've got to have as much shelter as possible. If everything goes well, we will arrive at Luca tomorrow. Hurry." She advised me and slammed the door closed, leaving me by myself. I looked back up at the sky as if in a daze and took in a deep breath, a faint fragrant of rain filled the cool air. Another loud crash, the storm was getting closer in a quick pace. I stood up as the wind picked up and blew fiercely against my flapping skirt. I felt calm as everyone around me was scurrying for shelter, or to direct the ship in the right direction. Everyone else was safely inside, but I didn't want to take shelter just yet. I took a step closer to the railing and peered down into the now black water.

"Yunie! Hurry!" Now Rikku was at the door, advising me to get inside, but i didn't want to. Very faintly I could hear music, a flute playing a melodic tone. It soothed me and seemed to take hold of my head. I couldn't control my body, my thoughts... anything I could not control. I wanted to just close my eyes and run inside, but the music was strong. I looked back at Rikku, my face held no expression.. dull. Her eyes widened and shook her head. "Yuna! Hurry!" she screamed as the ship rocked fiercely, making me loose my balance and fall to my knees, scraping them. Rikku held on to the doorway and tried to make her way toward me until the ship rocked again making both of us slide.

"R..Rikku..." I whispered through parted lips as I stood up. The music was getting louder and louder, it almost pained to even hear it. "The.. music.." I said but it was to nobody. Rikku held a confused expression as if i were crazy, I couldn't blame her. I felt so odd not being able to control my actions and yet still, I felt so soothed. My legs continued to walk, falling once as the rain finally came, slicking the boards. I closed my eyes, I was feeling drowsy and yet I was still walking. The rain fell harder on our bodies, soaking my clothes as they stuck annoyingly against my damp skin. Before I knew it, I was standing beside the railing, looking down into the deep black waters once again. I opened my eyes out of force and I wanted to scream. I saw you... I saw you in the water. There was a beast, an Aeon i think... It had pierced your heart and blood was everywhere.

"No!" I screamed as loud as I could and finally I could control my body. My hand was reaching down from the railing, trying to reach the water. You looked at me from what I could see, blood splurted from your tender lips that had once touched mine so delicately. To me, It was real... to the others it was nothing but a reflection in the water. I shook my head fiercely calling out your name over and over, reaching as far as I could over the railing, but we were to high up. I could not reach you.

"Rikku!" Lulu ran out from the inside and huddled over Rikku, who was now sitting up staring at me in pure horror. Lulu picked her up and helped her gain balance and suddenly her attention came to me. "Yuna.. no!" She screamed and tried to run towards me, Wakka ran close behind her.

I shifted my body, lifting one soaked leg up and fastening the arch of my foot against the railing. I had lost all voice to scream and my heart felt as if it had shattered all over the place, like the rain and quickly disintegrating as it fell to the ground. The boat shifted again, but this time I did not fall neither did everyone else. I took in a deep breath and turned my head to look at them. I could see the shock in their faces, they couldn't believe my actions. They didn't see what I had saw, I witnessed your death. I turned my head back around and it felt as if I was nothing, some lifeless corpse wondering the earth. I couldn't stand to see those same images over and over in my head. Tears fell from my thick damp lashes and streamed down my cheeks. I lifted my other leg and rested my foot on a higher bar until I was standing on the very top of the railing, keeping my balance.

"Stop! Yunie.. please.." Rikku begged through sobs as she ran towards me, until she was pushed back with such force. "A barrier! but how?" she said aloud in confusion. Lulu walked beside of Rikku and lifted her hand, touching the barrier around me. "Lulu... how is there a barrier?"

"This is someone's doing... I can't break it down." she sighed and looked at my back. "Yuna, get down now... You have to!" she screamed and concentrated on the barrier, in hope that she could break it. Lulu touched the shield again, but was pushed back with immense force causing her to fall upon the wet boards. Wakka ran to her side immediately, helping her up. A small crimson sphere fell from her dress. It rolled down and stopped against the barrier with a smack and activated the video. Light covered the crimson sphere and Tidus's image immerged.

"Yuna...I don't know when you do see this, Yuna... but I know that i do not have much longer to live. I will disappear soon and Sin will be our last battle together. I know I have said so many things, I told you that we would lead a life close to one another and enjoy the ways of life, and my new life in Spira. I'm sorry. Those dreams are just that, they are dreams. Even I... I am a dream. At this moment, you do not know that. I... i don't want to hurt you anymore, Yuna." His voice was another melody that battled the flute music. Tears continued to stream down my face, more rapidly as my body shook and I listened carefully to his words to which I had memorized. I bent down a little, securing my weight by holding onto the rail with my hands.

"T..tidus..." I finally whimpered his name, forgetting the images I had just seen. I wanted to turn around and hold that crimson sphere, but the flute music was still scarring my insides. I couldn't fight, my body was still possessed.

"But you know, over time... i grew to care about you guys. Wakka... Lulu... Kimari... Rikku... but most of all, i cared about you. Something struck me that moment i saw you in Besaid, walking out of the temple from praying. I didn't understand then, but now i do. I will save you, I will gladly give up my life in order to save yours. heh... i must look ridiculous." My body shook again, concentrating on his very words though the music was louder, I tried to ignore it. Rikku and Wakka had never seen the sphere and now they were watching it. I didn't care, the sphere wasn't just for me. I was being selfish . I took in another deep breath and closed my eyes, taking in your lustful voice. It made me remember the pilgrimage, where everyday you were by my side. You were always there to protect me, to help me and to cheer me up.

"I love you.. Yuna." The barrier broke and I lost my balance, falling backwards as the sphere rolled towards me. The music stopped and the rain had never subsided and the thunder clashed again fiercely. My hand caught the sphere and then I closed my eyes.

Images flashed through my mind, Tidus's face came as the blood spurted from his mouth. He limped down in pain, holding his chest to where more blood was oozing out. He fell, limp against the ground and behind, far behind the Aeon stood Isaaru... laughing. I jolted up with a yelp and breathed heavily, sweat covered my forehead as I lifted my hand to wipe it off. I was dressed differently and my clothes were folded neatly, clean and dry against the cot. I just sat there taking in what all had happened yesterday, part of it was like a dream and I couldn't remember all of it.

Finally, I stood up and unbuttoned my top, sliding it off and unfolded the same blue blouse i was wearing yesterday. There was pain in my left shoulder, far near the middle of my back and i turned around, my back facing the mirror. There was a deep black bruise forming from when I fell the previous night. I winced in pain from trying to touch it and turned back around, staring at my body. I trailed my finger tips along my throat, past my full breasts and down to my belly button. Just yesterday, I couldn't even walk... I couldn't control my moves and today it was as if none of that had happened. I let out a silent sigh and fastened the blouse around my body, grabbing the skirt and pulling off the shorts I was wearing. I looked at myself one last time before walking out of the room to nobody. It was bright out and I could hear the seagulls barking to each other, the sound could be quit annoying as they constantly spoke and flew around Luca over and over. The site of the small place took my breath away. Far along, I could see the Blitzball sphere and many players were battling each other inside of it. Suddenly at the thought of you, I remembered the dream. It seemed so real and yet not. Lulu was the only one waiting for me at the entrance of Luca. I walked to her and gave a slight smile.

"Yuna.. we need to talk." she spoke smoothly and I could pick up the seriousness in her voice. I nodded as she led the way to where the Blitzball players were playing. She climbed up two sets of stairs, me behind her running out of breath with each step. Finally we were high up and I ran to the railing of the cliff-like platform. Many people were enjoying the view and spoke excitedly with each other. I peered down and I could see, ever so close the huge water sphere and many fans cheering for the players. "There's going to be a tournament tomorrow. Would you like to come with us?" she asked as she stood beside me, mimicking my actions. I shook my head swiftly and closed my eyes, feeling the cool morning air blow my hair around.

"No, I think I will just go somewhere else. I don't think I could handle it really..." I admitted and continued to watch the players dive in and out of the water sphere, kicking the blitzball to one another. I smiled imagining you out there with the slight competition. I'm sure you would win.

"About yesterday.. I wanted to talk to you about it." she seemed to hesitate, but I looked at her, watched her expression closely. "Did you.. notice anything strange?" she asked me honestly before continuing. I nodded and looked back out ahead of me.

"The music..." She nodded, and i remember telling Rikku about the music and I'm sure she said something about it. "I heard flute music... and... i felt soothed." I explained now looking up to they sky as if in deep thought.

"Then what?" she asked flipping her braids again, I looked at her and noticed she had put her chopsticks in her hair again. This made me smile and then I looked back to the sky. The wind was blowing against us, it felt nice.

"I couldn't control my body... at all until... until i got to the railing." She looked at me and nodded, telling me to go on using her eyes. "When I got to the railing... I..." I hesitated to speak and took in a deep breath with a sigh. She lifted a hand and rested it on my back, I winced from the bruise and she lifted her hand again apologetically. I smiled as if telling her it was ok and then let out another sigh. "I.. In the water, I saw Tidus die." I said and looked down at my arms, now slumped over the rail.

"How..? how did he die?" she asked me out of curiosity.

"Aeon. He was killed by an Aeon." I said with pain in my voice. She sighed and then motioned me to stop. It was enough. Lulu turned around, her back on the rail. She going to explain something to me, i knew it.

"Your in danger Yuna. Someone is after you, That night when you were about to jump in the water. We couldn't come to you because there was a barrier. Even I... I could not break it. We could not get to you and I feel like a failure as a guardian." She said with her head slumped low. I turned to her and lifted my hand only to rest it on her shoulder.

"Don't say that Lulu, you tried your best... that's all that matters. I'm sti-" I begun until I was interrupted by Lulu's panicked voice.

"But would if you died, Yuna... We couldn't stop you... We called and called... but we were so useless." She took in a deep breath, calming herself and looked away. "I hadn't even known that the sphere would help. It slipped out of my dress... and it played. Everyone saw it. His voice has... such effect doesn't it... I guess you truly do love him." she let out a chuckle finally and crossed her arms over her chest. "I do know that there is somebody who is after you. I don't know who or what, but we... as guardians must protect you once again. I have a feeling this isn't going to be one normal trip." With that she let her arms fall from her breasts down to her side and she pushed herself away from the rail, walking away. "We meet up at the Inn near nightfall." She whispered and when I looked back, she was gone. I let out another sigh and looked to far across from me. I closed my eyes as the wind blew once more, caressing me and fluttering my blue skirt.

"Lovely day... isn't it, High Summoner." I jolted around to see a man walking towards me. He wore a summoner's robe and wore a calm expression. Long silky black hair fluttered behind him and lay rest upon his shoulders and back. He had almost jet black eyes and a smile that quickened every girls heart beat. He came beside me and looked out to the large water sphere. He smirked and I looked away immediately, nodding to his question. His body was firm and muscular, the robe fit his body perfectly and creased in the right spot.


End file.
